Perry at the Priory
In the summer of 2004 Pericles the Decoy Duck spent a month in The Priory to get over his worm and bird seed addiction.
This blog was originally set up to chronicle his experiences and the inevitable escape attempts.
However, it refuses to die.
The Characters
Pericles - Our Hero
Ron - a Lemming, Pericles's roommate
Bob - a discontented lizard
Dai - a Llama
Schrondinger - a Cat, Dai's roommate
Hermione - a Peking Duck
Thaisa - a Duck, Perry's sometime girlfriend
Doris - a Turkey, Matron at The Priory
Skippy - a dodgy Kangeroo
Sandi- a Great Dane
and
Ethel - a duckling who claims to be the fruit of Perry's loins
Monday, August 09, 2004
Day 12
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Good News - it looks like I may be getting out of here much earlier than planned.We're going to Stage A Break Out
It's all Dai the Llama's idea. He explained it to me during our Pilates class. It involves a horse and we're going to hide inside it. At first I thought that he'd just been watching too many war movies but Dai's plan doesn't involve a Wooden horse.
It involves a Pantomime horse.
Dai's noticed that there are a significant number of racing horses in here (I think they're being treated for steroid abuse). Every morning they are let out for a canter. Dai has acquired a pantomime horse outfit. Tomorrow morning at sunrise, one additional equine will be trotting out with them
Dai originally intended to make a solo bid for freedom. However, his roommate - Schrodinger the cat - found out and threatened to tell Matron so Dai was forced to include him. Then the costume turned out to be too big for just a Cat and a Llama, so he's invited me and Ron as well. I think I must have impressed him with my knowledge of Monty Python movies.
The plan is for Dai to go in front with Ron riding in the middle - tethered so he doesn't try to jump - and then Schrodinger in the rear riding on my shoulders. I've decided not to explain that Ducks don't have shoulders; cats can balance on anything.
We've all agreed to have an early night and meet in the stables at dawn so we can mingle. The trouble is that everyone's so anxious that it's hard to sleep. Ron's especially worked up - I haven't seen anyone that small get so excited since the Olsen Brothers won Eurovision.
Schrodinger's the only one who seems quite relaxed about the whole thing. I thought that was just innate Cat Coolness but Dai explained that it's actually Prozac. After being shut up in boxes so often, Schrodinger now suffers from severe 'clawstrophobia'. It's only heavy sedation that stops him taking hostages and demanding his liberty (since tunneling is obviously not an option).
He refers to this place at Al-Cat-raz
posted at 4:04 PM
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